I'm currently pitting my inner demons against each other in an attempt to decide whether or not I should leave my job to further explore my life and figure out where I want to take myself. I'm balanced on a very thin fence on the matter, considering the contract I have lasts only another eight months (out of eighteen), but life is slowly becoming a LIVING HELL the way it is. I literally have no idea what my stomach is doing these days - and doctors have yet to find an answer - and the confusion is leaving me nervous every time I get abdominal discomfort, which only compounds onto all of the unaddressed anxiety I have been bottling up, leading to a vicious cycle of freaking out at work with no way out. I didn't even make it through a full week of the new year without a nervous breakdown. That's not normal.
In the mean time, I know I'm not going to be making medical devices for my whole life, so I feel like I need to move in some direction some time soon. Procrastination is not a very good friend of mine, but he's reliable as ever. Art is still a strong option, but I need to refine it. Find a niche. At least try honing it down to a few different mediums to keep me from spreading too thin. And it's hard to spur myself along when I don't have anything tangible to which to look forward.
Now I'm not sure how many of you followers know or have heard of Rooster Teeth, but the news of animator and director of RWBY Monty Oum passing away hit me like a horse kicked me in the gut.
Actual positive motivation? Maybe. Positive reinforcement that doesn't wear off due to an apathy attack? We'll see, but know this: I want to create. I don't know what. I just do. It's what Monty would've wanted.
Let's see how this goes.